Does anyone else despise going to the grocery store? I don't know what childhood trauma caused the mental block I now carry about going to the store, but there it is. I'm back from my writer's conference and there is no food in the house save 5 bananas, bread, vegetarian sausage patties, stale raisins, Cheerios, crunchy organic peanut butter, and vanilla low-fat yogurt. I have made it 3 days on this diet and I'm not breaking down now, when I'm so close to victory.

Friday night is grocery night. I'm not setting foot in the store until then. I admire people who shop 2-3x/week for their food, running to the store after work to pick up needed ingredients for that night's meal. Personally? I'd rather bathe in blood. There is nothing about the grocery store I like, other than the produce section. I love being surrounded by leafy, colorful greens, and bright fruit and vegetables. I like to play a game where I pretend I actually know how to cook any of that stuff, and sometimes I pick up something like an eggplant or a plantain and examine it as if I were considering buying it. I like to think I fool people.

If anyone in the area wants to make a quick buck, you could drive by my house in about an hour and sell me some carrots and red peppers, apples, and Weight Watchers kiwi yogurt. I'm willing to pay top dollar.

But I won't go to the store to get it.