PART II

Darren & Dena - Click to enlargeI got Darren to the station. I’ve accomplished my goal. Almost. I was told to go to the front door and announce I had Darren LaCroix for his interview. We walk—in the pouring rain—to the front door and stare into a dark lobby with an unmanned security desk. We buzz. And buzz. And buzz. No dice.

For the second time, I pull out my phone and call Blair, this time to ask him to pull up the station’s phone number. Only he’s just powered down the computer so we have to wait for it to reboot. Did I mention we’re standing outside in the rain and are, by this time, late for our arrival?

As we’re standing there, Darren turns to me and asks, “If you had broccoli in your teeth, would you want someone to tell you?”

My hand flies to my mouth. I had a banana for breakfast and I brushed after that. How could I…? Then Darren—world’s nicest guy—says, “You’re coming undone,” and apologetically gestures to my shirt. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that’s right. After driving him down a one-way street the wrong way, leading him to an apparently abandoned TV station, and getting him soaking wet, I am now FLASHING Darren LaCroix. Oh. My. God.

At that point, a cameraman shows up and tells us he can’t unlock the front door, and we need to get back in the car and he’ll let us through the security gate. We walk to the car in the rain, get in, drive two feet through the security gate, park, and we’re finally inside the station.

So my goal in agreeing to chauffer Darren was that it would be good one-one-one time where we could connect in a professional yet relaxed environment. The result was:

• Getting lost
• Making a major traffic violation while simultaneously endangering the life of the person I’m hoping to impress
• Appearing to be a weeny-woman who has to call her husband—twice—to bail her out.
• Exposing Darren to rain-related cold and flu symptoms
• Exposing Darren to my chest

The only thing that would have made it better is if we had caught it all on film. Darren pulled out his video camera at the station as he’s recording behind-the-scene footage in the life of a public speaker for U-Tube. I was actually sorry he didn’t have the camera out for the one-way street and unbuttoned shirt. That would have been funny.

When I dropped Darren at the hotel, I said, “I am so sorry for all the confusion. I feel terrible about it.” I paused, then added, “But on the bright side, I did flash you.” Darren laughed and assured me all was fine. He really is an incredible easygoing and nice guy. And an incredible speaker, should you ever have the chance to hear him or train with him.

After I dropped Darren off, I called my best friend.

“Tell me I’m not the world’s biggest dork,” I said. “I need to hear the words.”

“What happened?”

I told her.

“Is there maybe a bridge or something tall nearby you can jump off?” she asked.

“It gets better,” I said. “Since it’s raining, I left my hair curly and I pretty much resemble an electrified poodle.”

“A topless electrified poodle.”

“Yes.”

Maybe I won’t jump just yet. Darren had his interview and who knows? Maybe I’ve provided him new material for his comedy routine. So it all worked out.

I get to see Darren tomorrow at the conference. Bet your mama I’ll be wearing a pullover, buttonless shirt.