Five minutes ago:

"Aunt Di-Di?"

"Yes?"

"Can you help me put in my butt pad?" 

And people wonder why I've chosen not to bear children...

It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Max is 11 and plays football. There is a cushioning apparatus called a "butt pad" that must be shoved down into a miniscule flap of fabric on the (not being worn at the time) male shorts. I shoved and tugged and stretched and hurled curses at the thing until I finally got it down in there. NOT a user friendly piece of attire. 

I'm now on my way to watch twenty-three 11 year old boys hurl themselves at one another while I feign excitement from the sidelines. I am WAY too self-absorbed to ever have kids.

Plus, I just can't get used to those butt pads...